First i want to say SORRY for some people . Because my childishnes they can not enjoy this night. From HAPPY become SAD . I really feel sorry for that .
When i hear my mom go out with my dad , i think only both of them , till i read my cousin's status i know they go out with my cousins. I try to don't care with all of that, but at last i can not . I keep crying ! Crying alot ! I finish 1 box tissue because this.
Than in my mind full of my father and mother only . Only both of them in my mind . I send msg to my father, like tell him i don't like when they all go out without me. I know it sound egoist ! i really agree if people say that sound egoist . But , that i feel now !
Just feel to be me : eat alone in house*not home* , go out alone , in house also alone.
when i'm in home*my hometown* : eat with my fater or mother or brother or cousin , or all of them *at least got someone company me when i eat* , go out never alone! , my home always full of people so i never alone .
it's so different right ?!!
i can not face it , till this time .
But i PROMISE to my mom n my self i must can face it !! i must to be mature.
NO MORE CHILDISH !!!
This is all my consequence cause i choose to study far away from them. I must take my consequence !
I must think other people , my life more wonderfull than them . I really know it, than why i'm so bad to do something like this to them?! I'm so BAD !! I'm so EGOIST!!
When my dad read my msg , he tell my mom . suddenly my mom call all of them to go home. She don't have any mood to shopping because she know i REALLY feel SAD and ALONE in here!
Than my dad tell them why my mom like that and that because of me , her BAD daughter !!
When she reach home she call me to online and she explain to me , i still keep crying at that time . Actually i know that i'm wrong , but i still can't accept if my cousins go out with MY PARENTS , because they are MINE! But, yeah okay !! i must forget my egoist and envyness !! They also same with me, they feel what i feel . They also far from their parents. and i know i'm more lucky than them . Even i far from my parents i can get what i want, but hey ? No ! they must follow my mom's rule . And i know it's not easy , because she wanted all of us become independent people!
From my mom and dad's reaction i know THEY LOVE ME! much more than everyone !!
I really really feel sorry for my youngest cousin, my mom like angry with her , actually my mom not angry with u honey , she just confuse, she know how my feeling and in other she also know how you feeling .
I really sorry for that . i'm BAD sister for you !
I just realize , i'm to much complain ! I just keep complain and complain , the worst is i always look up NEVER look down . i supposed to balance between look up and look down . I'm more lucky than many people .
I have GOD! FAMILY that loves me! and FRIENDS that always support me!
Mom , Dad i promise i won't be like this again ! Your little Desy getting mature now ,
some day u will be PROUD to have me as your daughter ♥
NEW ME ! NEW DESY !
Try to enjoy what i have and try to be more mature!
Thanks GOD for everythin You give me . I believe You know what i need!
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